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New here, need help
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JennD
1
Hello, my name is Jennifer, and I just discovered this forum. I am 28 years old and never have had a driver\'s license. When I was 16 I had a learner\'s permit and wrecked my first time out. I didn\'t get behind the wheel again until I was 21, where I was in what could have been a fatal crash. Shortly after I moved to another state to live with some family, who told me if I did not get my driver\'s license I would be kicked out of their home. I took private lessons, but was never able to complete a day. When I am behind the wheel of a vehicle, ANY vehicle, I loose control of all my thoughts and actions. I get hot, sweaty, dizzy, naucous and have even blacked out (that was the time of the near fatal accident, I ended up spinning on the wrong side of the freeway, it was amazing we all walked away). I simply CANNOT drive, I am afraid if I ever try again I will kill myself, or someone else. Given the fact I blacked out the last time from the sheer fear of it all, I don\'t think that worry is too far fetched. My husband is loving and understanding, but still thinks I just need to "learn" to drive. He says we cannot have children until I get over this, so this is my first step. I don\'t know what to do, we cannot afford to go to dr.\'s to figure this out, and I feel that since this is something mental I should be able to "positive think" myself out of it. But I don\'t know how to start, I feel so lost. I don\'t work, go places I want to go, anything because of this. :\'(
benilaw
2
Jennifer,
I\'m also 28! I\'m terrified of driving b/c I\'ve been in 3 yes, 3 accidents in a span of 10 years. The first was while leaving work not too long after getting my license at age 18. It was a minor hit & run (in my defense I really didn\'t think I hit anyone). I luckily only got a warning. The 2nd and very major accident was when I was 20. My car flipped over upside down after I was hit by a woman who was speeding. The claim is that I did not see the stop sign. However, no one was coming so I went into the intersection and then she came out of nowhere. I was charged with a misdemeanor (so minor that I received no points). The third was just last year. I was coming home from my internship and I thought there was enough distance between me and the car to jump into the lane. I was wrong. Luckily the cute cop did not give a ticket.
Now, I have driven accident-free knock on wood for over a year mostly b/c most of last year from Feb. until July, I didn\'t venture out. Just stayed in my parents\' house and studied for the Bar exam there or I would drive to the local library (scene of accident #1). I have driven on an interstate twice and w/o incident (although the time I went to get my e-fingerprint, I thought I hit a car but evidently not). I\'ve even driven on busy roads like US Route 1 and 35 without incident.
After months of searching, I have a job offer…but I have to drive to work! I\'m terrified of driving on the parkway (hate toll roads) and nighttime will be a nightmare. I have depth perception problems (reason for accident # 3). I\'m sooo nervous. I have knots in my stomach. I\'m not too concerned about getting to work but coming home will be challenging. I have driven at night before but not to this extent. How do I get past this fear? Ironically, knock on wood, I haven\'t gotten into an accident at night yet! I\'m so terrified and need advice. So glad to know others also have a fear of driving.
Driving in NJ scares me since it\'s so congested. That\'s one thing I miss about the Midwest…so less populated and I loved driving there (even if people there didn\'t seem to grasp the concept of turn signals).
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